Additions

Two more additions to the Dad list, courtesy of the family at dinner last night:

5. When I was in high school, the infamous inbreeding episode premiered on X-files. You know the one I'm talking about. It's the one where they keep the deformed, limbless mother on a roller under the bed. I watched it and was completely freaked out. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can't watch scary movies or shows. I have a very active imagination, and I stay awake all night imagining whatever zombie or alien I'd just seen on TV is in my room, waiting to attack. Apparently this time, Dad forgot about my delicate consistency. After the show, I was in my parents' bedroom talking with my mother, sitting on their bed. Dad decided it would be a great idea to roll out from underneath the bed to scare me. Well, this seventeen-year-old immediately burst into tears. He says he still feels bad about that.

6. One from the "That Just Happened" files: apparently Dad was transporting a crock pot full of clam chowder to an event a few weeks ago when the whole thing spilled into the front seat of his truck. That's bad enough, but he didn't clean it for a week. Then, when he finally deigned to get off his butt and drive to get some products with which to clean the festering mess, the truck died and he had to subject a poor, defenseless mechanic to the smell of rotting clams and cream.