For Dad

He said he couldn't think of anything weird, so for today's show, we have: Weird Things Dad Has Said or Done.

1. There is the ubiquitous Dad quote, "just like a rubber band!" The story: he snapped his Achilles' tendon in an ill-fated Christmas Day football game and his telling of the story always included that fateful phrase, which is how he described the feeling of the tendon snapping.

2. We also can't forget the "six-foot tall deer" he saw in the neighbor's yard one day. (He is slightly prone to exaggeration, if you haven't guessed.)

3. One of my favorite stories from childhood: once I was riding with him in the car when the song "Oh Won't You Stay Just a Little Bit Longer" came on the radio. The man sings very high in one of the verses, so I asked, "Dad, how can that guy sing so high?" Dad's response: "He had an operation." For years I thought he meant that he actually had an operation on his vocal cords...sometime in high school or college it occurred to me that it was an entirely different type of operation Dad was alluding to.

4. Another one from the childhood vault: Josh and I were eating watermelons one day when Josh swallowed a seed. Panicking, he ran in to ask Dad what would happen, and Dad told him that a watermelon would grow in his stomach. After assuring Josh that he was kidding, Josh appeared to forget about it--until the next day when Dad took Josh to the supermarket. As luck would have it, the headline on the National Enquirer was "Boy Grows Tree Out of Stomach," which featured an accompanying photo. I think Josh may still be scarred from that one.

Any others from the peanut gallery?